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Help my sister is dating a loser


Me, my mom, and dad do NOT approve. Results 1 to 15 of My sister is dating a loser. Join Date Sep Posts 8. We've tried telling her that the guy is a loser, but she won't listen. She says she'll stop the relationship, but I found Help my sister is dating a loser, that she is lying, and still meets up with the guy. She is madly in love with the guy, and its obvious the guy really likes my sister.

My sister can do much better. The guy is a control freak, and extremely insecure with himself. Under normal circumstances, I think my sister should learn on her own. She should learn the hard way.

What do you do if...

But there is a bigger problem at hand though. She doesn't have to work, and she has the luxury of studying at her own pace. So for such a long time, everything has come to her easy. I just think its wrong for my sister to be living this way, in my parents house, and at the same time, disrespect them, by continuing to talk to this guy. If she wants to live off our Dad, then she is going to be treated like a child. If she wants to move out right now, and try to sustain her own life with this guy, then in that case, Me, my Dad, and my Mom can't say anything.

Am I making sense here? Is my sister taking advantage of the situation? On one hand, she Help my sister is dating a loser the comfort of living at home, and having no stress in life. And on the other hand, she is seeing a guy that Help my sister is dating a loser all disapprove of. When my Dad tried to restrict her from going out, she started crying, and she put us all on a guilt trip. I'm starting to not feel guilty anymore.

Join Date Jun Gender Posts This is just an amazing coincidence! I'm through an exact situation although my sister is 30 and has been married for 7 years, now divorced her husband which was a very nice guy and moved to parents house. Now she dates a total ass who's 31, who never had a job in his life and causes all sort of emotional trouble to my sister and indirectly to our family, still she won't leave him, although she also said she would.


Our family also dissaproves it greatly. I bet it's genetic on women to simply leave the group We just decided to leave it to herself to decide and be responsible for her Help my sister is dating a loser It pains me greatly as a brother to see my sister be dragged to the depths of self-esteem like this and drowned in bank debts.

But this all due to her decisions. My advice is to let it go, just drop it. She will learn, eventually, and be responsible for our acts is what makes up adults. If your dad cuts her the financial help just Help my sister is dating a loser the basics like food, personal higiene, etc she will be forced to find a job to support her own things and take notice on what kind of society she lives and how it's the world out there.

It will do her much good. Originally Posted by thundersw. I believe if do nothing, in your case, things will stay the same. As long as she has everything, Help my sister is dating a loser will do nothing, she's 25 not exactly a teen!

Over-protection is Help my sister is dating a loser bad as no protection at all, I'm not telling to cut everything, just enough for her to understand she needs to have a source of income for Help my sister is dating a loser own needs. Maybe she'll value more the support her family provides. Education is not something you only learn at school. That's my point of view, hope it helps. What you think doesn't matter! Go the hell away and let your sister make her own adult decisions and live her own adult life!

It sounds to me that you are feeling jealous because your sister has had it 'easy' whereas things may have been different for you so in a sense you want to punish her for that by trying to tell her how to live her life and who she can or cannot date. It is up to your father to decide whether supporting her Help my sister is dating a loser for the best or not. If he feels that this is what he needs to do until she is able to stand on her own two feet then that is Help my sister is dating a loser business alone.

Don't allow your envy to come between them. You may not like it and think it is unfair to you but every person is different. Perhaps you have better coping mechanisms and this is why you are able to be more independent whereas your sister is a different person who may be more needy emotionally. You and your parents have no right to tell her who to Help my sister is dating a loser. She is not a child and although she is still supported financially by her family she is an adult and adults are able to make their own decisions.

You would be doing more damage by telling her she is not 'allowed' to date this guy because that would be treating her like a child who is unable to Help my sister is dating a loser her own decisions Help my sister is dating a loser the belief that she can't take care of her self will get rooted into her mind even deeper.

My sister is dating a...

You can only state your opinion but you cannot Help my sister is dating a loser demands. You have done that and she has chosen to remain with him. There is nothing Help my sister is dating a loser you can or should do in this case. She needs to learn from her own mistakes and you need to back off and focus on your own life instead. Originally Posted by Andariel. Join Date Aug Posts 6, What if she lies because she knows that her family can't handle the truth, and would give her hell for it?

It's more likely that she behaves like a kid because she keeps being treated as one, rather than the other way around. You should think about your own life and let her and your parents figure things out. They are all adults. I appreciate you find her not working and essentially Help my sister is dating a loser off your parents at 25 unacceptable.

Let's face it though: As a result she will be made to feel like she has to resort to asking daddy and mummy for advice on how to live her life and money to support herself. By interfering with her personal life you wll only be feeding this unhealthy image and this is a vicious cycle: Do you see my point? The more you control someone the more you make them feel insecure about themselves and their abilities and as a result they remain in a childlike state of mind.

She is as much at fault here as your Help my sister is dating a loser and perhaps they are more so to blame because they are reinforcing the 'child' image through their need to control Help my sister is dating a loser of her life by telling her y'you are living under our roof, we own you, therefore you have no personality and we will tell you what is best for you because you are a child and cannot be responsible for yourself'.

Your parents need to realise that although she is living in their house she is an adult and she is entitled to make her own decisions about her social and dating life.

So, I need some advice...

Making demands on her when they know she is in a vulnerable state is manipulative and callous. If they want to help her stand on her own feet and take responsibility for herself they need to have a calm discussion with her and during that discussion to mention that she is an adutl and they believ she is able to make her own decisions as such they will respect that she wants to date this guy and they believe she is smart and capable enough to find a job and start suporting herself.

They should together set a deadline by which she needs to have found a job and make a list of the steps she needs to take to find Help my sister is dating a loser ie.

Making demands and forbidding her doing things she wants to do will only Help my sister is dating a loser my sister is dating a loser things worse for her.

She needs to be supported in a constructive way that will help her Help my sister is dating a loser in herself rather than be made to feel useless and incapable of being her Help my sister is dating a loser person. Your dad should do whatever he feels like doing. So does your sister. It's really not up to you. Sorry, I didn't realise she was still studying.

That makes things a bit more complicated! I think your idea about making it clear that she will be supported until she finishes her degree at the beginning of the year and then she will need to find a job is good. It gives her plenty of time to plan for the future and putting some reasonable pressure like that will help her realise that this is not a permanent situation-she will need to find a job and support herself.

Let's also not forget that there plenty of students out there who study and work part-time as well and this is Help my sister is dating a loser she could consider as well. Just like your parents need to back off from controlling her, she needs to realise she has to take responsibility for herself and of course finding a job and becoming financially independent is paramount to that.

People can be very immature when they have someone else holding their hand and knowing that their parents are taking care of everything and tthus feeling like they can go out and have fun without a care in the world. Once they get a job and they start having to pay for rent and bills things change; they mature and it is then that they are able to view that some things they have been doing or Help my sister is dating a loser people they chose to allow in their Help my sister is dating a loser are not good for them.

If this guy is no goodI'm sure she will realise it sooner or later. The more you try to control this the more he becomes 'the forbidden fruit' that needs to be pursued even more. She might also view staying with him as her rebellion against parental authority. This is why it is important to let this go.

Also, make sure that when your parents have this discussion with her they don't present working and supporting herself as punishment for staying with this guy.

She can stay with this guy but regardless of that she is an adult and she has to start supporting herself in order to become independent. Originally Posted by searock. One more thing before I forget! I like the idea of the timeline thing. I think my sister is on board I had a quick chat with her.

Later this week, I'll get a chance to talk to my parents, and get them on board too.


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Some forums can only be seen by registered members. In a tiny, noisy, frigid cube. I am at my wit's end. My sister 20 years old is dating a complete loser.

I'm trying to refrain from preaching to her or trying to convince her to dump him because I know it will make her want to stay with him that much more.

Here's a little background: This is her first boyfriend. He is the same age, and currently on disability due to a work injury. He lives with his stepmother and two brothers in a trailer. This part does not matter--I don't care where he lives or what his income is, just trying to set up some background info.

They met through a mutual friend, and have been dating about 3 to 4 months. He refuses to come to my parents house where my sister lives. His excuse is that every time he meets a girl's parents, he ends up breaking up with the girl because parents don't like him. Xxxkino

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  • As for her loser boyfriend, say something like these points:...
  • My sister's boyfriend is a complete loser. Working with a family therapist and an addiction specialist (with or...
  • Me, my mom, and dad do NOT approve.

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So, I need some advice on how to approach this situation with my sister. She is dating an apparent loser. My sister is nearly 23 years old, the youngest child. She is extremely intelligent and has always been something of an artsy free spirit. A few months after graduating university last year she moved to a new city, where she knew no one, for a job in her field. Since moving to this new city, she has fallen in with a less than savory crowd, and from this crowd she has begun dating a guy who sounds like a real loser.

I have not had the opportunity to meet him myself, but my parents have and they disapprove big time. Not that they think he is a bad person, just that she could do so, so much better.

  • My sister is dating a loser. Me, my mom, and dad do NOT approve.
  • We've tried telling her that the guy is a loser, but she won't listen. Under normal circumstances, I think my sister should learn on her own. If your dad cuts her the financial help just for the basics (like food, personal higiene. My sister (20 years old) is dating a complete loser. I'm trying to You can be there to help dry her tears when her heart is broken. Better to be.
  • My sister is dating a loser? Help!? | Yahoo Answers
  • My sister is dating a loser. What can I do to help her?

(Closed) My sister...

She won't be signing a lease or anything. Him getting her pregnant was a way to seal the deal, so to speak to keep her close to him. A successful woman shouldn't be with a bum like that guy. Although it does seem like a dangerous trend for your sister, at least he works two jobs to make ends meet.

Making demands and forbidding her doing things she wants to do will only make things worse for her. Regardless of whether that need is being adressed by their partner or not. And on the other hand, she is seeing a guy that we all disapprove of.

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My sister can do much better. Regardless of whether that need is being adressed by their partner or not. My twin was also very disappointed. However, my superhero cop husband had no problems making the punk squirm. Her boyfriend is 28 years old with no college education and two dead-end part-time jobs.

Home my sister dating loser. My sister isn't perfect, she has been struggling on her course judging by her exam marks and I fear this relationship could drag her down further and seriously affect her future.

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